Our Little Bird turned ONE this week! Wow! Yikes! Phew! Amazing!
Daddy and I (yes, he's home! more on that later ;p) have been walking around in a bit of a daze, looking at each other and saying with no small wonder, "We have a daughter; she's one!" It's a shock to the system I tell ya'.
She's been saving up, too. Despite our valiant efforts to get our bird signing since day one, the most interest she's shown to date is a general look of what-on-earth-are-you-doing. In the last week our toothless munchkin (yes, still zero chompers) has suddenly started signing MORE, ALL-DONE, and NIGHT-NIGHT consistently, with some MILK, MAMA, SHHH, and PLEASE tossed in randomly. She's also started climbing in and out of her chairs by herself, asking us for food by walking to her chair and waiting, blowing kisses, waving bye-bye, and occassionally telling people "Hi!" in her tiny little voice. What happened to our baby?! When did this little toddler sprout up in her place? When did rattles get traded in for toy trucks and colored pencils?
Little Bird (I've decided to dub her this on the blog because of her adorable habit of bouncing her head up and down like a baby bird when she's waiting for food) has the habit of breaking out with skills I had no idea she could do. Like eating with a spoon. By herself. At 10 1/2 months. After having been spoon-fed less than 5 times in her life. Yeah.
I'm kindof afraid to see what she comes up with next - driving? Can I vote for doing the dishes? How 'bout making the beds? Hmm... should look into those :P.
Well, baby girl we are proud of you and we love you and we are so blessed to have you! Happy 1st Birthday!
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Sunday, February 20
Sunday, January 2
How to Survive a Deployment: Spouse Edition
PRAY
The family that prays together stays together. Pray for each other and with each other. Share prayer requests. Share rejoicing in answered prayers. Lean on God and revel in His glorious goodness and love!
COMMUNICATE
This means more than writing letters, Skyping, emailing, or whatever you can do to keep in touch with your loved ones. It's about WHAT you say and HOW you say it. Our spouses are not mind readers and Skype isn't the same as sitting with someone face-to-face. Talk through what you're feeling, tell stories (big and little) about what you've been doing, share your hopes, dreams, fears, and silliness. Be willing to be a good listener.
INCLUDE EACH OTHER
Discuss finances, work together on changes in bedtime routines, plan Christmas shopping, ask for input and advice when making decisions. Do NOT let the miles act as a brick wall. I think feeling disconnected and excluded are probably some of the toughest things to overcome during reintegration, but there's no reason for these to be issues if you work at including each other during the deployment.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Stress is fueled by poor eating, poor sleeping, and poor health. Invest in your health and sanity by eating right, exercising, and getting a good night's sleep. Keep your body and mind occupied and fresh through work, hobbies, volunteering, or just getting out and doing something.
IGNORE THE CLOCK
The first deployment I counted down the days. The second deployment I kept track of weeks or months (1/4 of the way through, 1/2 way done, etc.). This deployment I've quit looking at the calendar and just taken it one day at a time. This one has gone so much smoother! It's easy to get overwhelmed with big chunks of time, but taking things one day at a time helps you focus on the present and not mourn the past or dread the future.
COURT EACH OTHER
Remember when you were dating? The silly stories you'd share? Late-night phone conversations? Surprise gifts? The excitement of getting to know each other? It seems our culture assumes you pitch all that out the window when you get married. Not true! I can think of no better time to be excited about sharing each other's lives than when you're married. If you 're having trouble being creative in ways to get to know each other and show your love, skip the sex. WHAT?! Yes. No sex. Sex is a gift - a giving of yourself completely to your spouse. It should be an extension of your love for one another, not a replacement for the deep life-long daily decision and joy of choosing to love someone. If you're not already, I strongly recommend you begin practicing Natural Family Planning. If you are conscientiously avoiding getting pregnant, than you and your spouse will practice periodic abstinence. This is a gift! It's a chance for you both to reconnect in ways outside of the bedroom. If you are not practicing NFP or are not avoiding pregnancy, I would still urge you to engage in periodic abstinence - you may be amazed at how many new ways you can find to share and build your love for one another and at the end of each period of abstinence comes a mini-honeymoon - whoohoo! ;p A bonus is preparation for deployments. Too many times I've seen couples whose relationships depended so heavily on physical gratification then when separated, they couldn't function as a couple. They had no idea how to show love to one another without hopping between the sheets. This is a recipe for disaster. So. Save the sex and start dating again!
BUILD EACH OTHER UP
Don't play the blame game. Each of you is experiencing things you've never experienced before and it's tough. Real tough. Listen to each other's concerns and be realistic about what you're dealing with. Be each other's support system.
BUILD A SUPPORT SYSTEM
Even under the best of deployment circumstances, there are some things that you simply cannot do or be for each other. Seek out other spouses and families that are currently experiencing or have experienced deployments. Find someone you can call in the middle of the night when you're sick and need Gatorade and be willing to do the same for them. Spouse groups, church communities, work buddies, etc. are places you may start to find some supports. No matter how much you want to be a hermit, you WILL need support at some point so seek it out, reciprocate it, and enjoy it as the blessing it is!
KNOW THERE'S A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!
Deployments do end. People do change during them. That's okay - people change even without deployments! Embrace change and love each other through it all - there is an end in sight!
The family that prays together stays together. Pray for each other and with each other. Share prayer requests. Share rejoicing in answered prayers. Lean on God and revel in His glorious goodness and love!
COMMUNICATE
This means more than writing letters, Skyping, emailing, or whatever you can do to keep in touch with your loved ones. It's about WHAT you say and HOW you say it. Our spouses are not mind readers and Skype isn't the same as sitting with someone face-to-face. Talk through what you're feeling, tell stories (big and little) about what you've been doing, share your hopes, dreams, fears, and silliness. Be willing to be a good listener.
INCLUDE EACH OTHER
Discuss finances, work together on changes in bedtime routines, plan Christmas shopping, ask for input and advice when making decisions. Do NOT let the miles act as a brick wall. I think feeling disconnected and excluded are probably some of the toughest things to overcome during reintegration, but there's no reason for these to be issues if you work at including each other during the deployment.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Stress is fueled by poor eating, poor sleeping, and poor health. Invest in your health and sanity by eating right, exercising, and getting a good night's sleep. Keep your body and mind occupied and fresh through work, hobbies, volunteering, or just getting out and doing something.
IGNORE THE CLOCK
The first deployment I counted down the days. The second deployment I kept track of weeks or months (1/4 of the way through, 1/2 way done, etc.). This deployment I've quit looking at the calendar and just taken it one day at a time. This one has gone so much smoother! It's easy to get overwhelmed with big chunks of time, but taking things one day at a time helps you focus on the present and not mourn the past or dread the future.
COURT EACH OTHER
Remember when you were dating? The silly stories you'd share? Late-night phone conversations? Surprise gifts? The excitement of getting to know each other? It seems our culture assumes you pitch all that out the window when you get married. Not true! I can think of no better time to be excited about sharing each other's lives than when you're married. If you 're having trouble being creative in ways to get to know each other and show your love, skip the sex. WHAT?! Yes. No sex. Sex is a gift - a giving of yourself completely to your spouse. It should be an extension of your love for one another, not a replacement for the deep life-long daily decision and joy of choosing to love someone. If you're not already, I strongly recommend you begin practicing Natural Family Planning. If you are conscientiously avoiding getting pregnant, than you and your spouse will practice periodic abstinence. This is a gift! It's a chance for you both to reconnect in ways outside of the bedroom. If you are not practicing NFP or are not avoiding pregnancy, I would still urge you to engage in periodic abstinence - you may be amazed at how many new ways you can find to share and build your love for one another and at the end of each period of abstinence comes a mini-honeymoon - whoohoo! ;p A bonus is preparation for deployments. Too many times I've seen couples whose relationships depended so heavily on physical gratification then when separated, they couldn't function as a couple. They had no idea how to show love to one another without hopping between the sheets. This is a recipe for disaster. So. Save the sex and start dating again!
BUILD EACH OTHER UP
Don't play the blame game. Each of you is experiencing things you've never experienced before and it's tough. Real tough. Listen to each other's concerns and be realistic about what you're dealing with. Be each other's support system.
BUILD A SUPPORT SYSTEM
Even under the best of deployment circumstances, there are some things that you simply cannot do or be for each other. Seek out other spouses and families that are currently experiencing or have experienced deployments. Find someone you can call in the middle of the night when you're sick and need Gatorade and be willing to do the same for them. Spouse groups, church communities, work buddies, etc. are places you may start to find some supports. No matter how much you want to be a hermit, you WILL need support at some point so seek it out, reciprocate it, and enjoy it as the blessing it is!
KNOW THERE'S A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!
Deployments do end. People do change during them. That's okay - people change even without deployments! Embrace change and love each other through it all - there is an end in sight!
Saturday, December 25
Merry Christmas
May this joyous season be filled with peace, grace, thanksgiving, and blessings for you and yours!
-Our Milfamily
-Our Milfamily
Wednesday, December 22
Christmas Peace and Waiting
I have something like 4 or 5 posts with one-line notes to myself sitting in my draft pile, waiting to be fleshed out and shared with the world; a pile more pop into my head only to get shoved out with more pressing matters such as diapers and dog food.
As I sit and type this post our beautiful baby girl is gently holding our dog's bone out to her so the dog can chew more comfortably (presumably that's the reason... right?). Such a sweet picture :).
Christmas is only 3 days away but it doesn't even feel like we've made it past fall. It doesn't feel like Advent, it doesn't feel like Christmas, it doesn't feel like much of anything really. Daddy's been deployed for awhile now and we're all just in a holding pattern waiting for him to come home. Our little girl is growing and learning by leaps and bounds, but there is little else to show time's passing. I quit working outside of our home right before LO was born and Daddy's not on a schedule that affects us much - he doesn't come home for lunch at a specific time, he doesn't need to get up and out the door in the morning, he doesn't have workdays vs weekends that have any bearing on us. We talk to him on Skype but not on a predictable schedule. The only place we need to be at a specific time is Mass and even then we have choices on which Mass to attend. It seems very much like we're just standing still, waiting to see what will happen next but only with a mild curiosity.
This isn't to say we haven't been doing anything. On the contrary, we have craft projects and organization projects and furniture projects and Spouse Club projects spread from one end of the house to the other! Several weeks ago I must have caught the craft bug because every time I turn around another project idea peeks around the corner and begs to be tried out. It's been fun :). I suppose that's one of the benefits of deployments - if all these projects were out while my husband were here he might have a conniption!
Regardless, it IS Christmas time and I think taking a break this year from all the bustle of getting ready for the holidays has left time and space in my heart and soul for more important things to grow. We're not opening presents on Christmas day (nor anytime soon for that matter) and I don't care one whit. I haven't been very good about Advent decorations/visible preparations such as an Advent wreath or calendar, but I've been talking about the Christmas story with our daughter without feeling like I have to say anything about Santa and all the secular trappings of the season. This Christmas preparation has been peaceful, calm, and pure. I am looking forward to celebrating Mass with our daughter and just rejoicing in the joy of Christ's birth. Perhaps God guided the timing of this deployment so we would have a chance to start off on the right foot as we celebrate our daughter's first Christmas - it's certainly setting the stage for much more peaceful Christmases in the future :).
As I sit and type this post our beautiful baby girl is gently holding our dog's bone out to her so the dog can chew more comfortably (presumably that's the reason... right?). Such a sweet picture :).
Christmas is only 3 days away but it doesn't even feel like we've made it past fall. It doesn't feel like Advent, it doesn't feel like Christmas, it doesn't feel like much of anything really. Daddy's been deployed for awhile now and we're all just in a holding pattern waiting for him to come home. Our little girl is growing and learning by leaps and bounds, but there is little else to show time's passing. I quit working outside of our home right before LO was born and Daddy's not on a schedule that affects us much - he doesn't come home for lunch at a specific time, he doesn't need to get up and out the door in the morning, he doesn't have workdays vs weekends that have any bearing on us. We talk to him on Skype but not on a predictable schedule. The only place we need to be at a specific time is Mass and even then we have choices on which Mass to attend. It seems very much like we're just standing still, waiting to see what will happen next but only with a mild curiosity.
This isn't to say we haven't been doing anything. On the contrary, we have craft projects and organization projects and furniture projects and Spouse Club projects spread from one end of the house to the other! Several weeks ago I must have caught the craft bug because every time I turn around another project idea peeks around the corner and begs to be tried out. It's been fun :). I suppose that's one of the benefits of deployments - if all these projects were out while my husband were here he might have a conniption!
Regardless, it IS Christmas time and I think taking a break this year from all the bustle of getting ready for the holidays has left time and space in my heart and soul for more important things to grow. We're not opening presents on Christmas day (nor anytime soon for that matter) and I don't care one whit. I haven't been very good about Advent decorations/visible preparations such as an Advent wreath or calendar, but I've been talking about the Christmas story with our daughter without feeling like I have to say anything about Santa and all the secular trappings of the season. This Christmas preparation has been peaceful, calm, and pure. I am looking forward to celebrating Mass with our daughter and just rejoicing in the joy of Christ's birth. Perhaps God guided the timing of this deployment so we would have a chance to start off on the right foot as we celebrate our daughter's first Christmas - it's certainly setting the stage for much more peaceful Christmases in the future :).
Wednesday, October 27
Home
Awhile back I read this post and almost cried:
It spurred me to read a few more similar posts:
The church I grew up in didn't have a cry room till I was in college. What possessed them to add it at that point (the church was well over 20 years old) is still beyond me. The parish was young and I relished hearing the baby babbles and little voices asking some really great questions. I'm not talking about 8-year-old kids munching cheerios or playing Gameboys, I mean honest curiosity and just plain vibrancy that small children carry with them everywhere they go.
The priest of our parish when I was little (not the afore mentioned, this one was before I moved as a kid) used to stop what he was doing if he saw a parent stand up to take a crying child out of the sanctuary. "Don't leave! That child's voice is the music of angels!" Oh how I wish all people felt the same!
Now that we have our own little one, I must say we have left the sanctuary with her on a small handful (like less than 5) occassions. Not because she was being disruptive or we were worried about bugging the people next to us so much as because she is WIGGLY and it is much easier to rock those wiggly toes to sleep while standing as opposed to kneeling. We've always stayed within earshot of the sanctuary (or at least a speaker) and have come back to the sanctuary within a few minutes too.
I thought we were doing pretty well with the whole family-celebrating-life-and-Mass-together thing, but we did have a surprising bump on the road. A few weeks ago we (finally!) made it to the States and were able to celebrate our daughter's baptism (yay!). We sat down in the front row, everyone dressed to the hilt and weary sloppy smiles because we were there celebrating Mass as a family and our baby was going to be baptized. Well, everyone was wearing smiles except the baby. She was hungry. So I did what I always do... fed her. Yep. In the front row. In my dress clothes. Without a blanket. What shocked me is that a family member leaned over and insisted, "You can't do that here!" Well would you rather I let the baby scream or shall I run and hide?
If children (with all their sniffles, wiggles, babbles, and all) aren't welcome in church, then why on earth are we there? Jesus says, "Let the children come to me" and by golly I'm pretty sure He means it!
It spurred me to read a few more similar posts:
- http://www.katewicker.com/2009/02/harden-not-my-heart.html
- http://www.hobomama.com/2009/02/do-not-hinder-them.html
- http://www.hobomama.com/2010/07/christianitys-effect-on-breastfeeding.html
- http://www.katewicker.com/2010/09/let-little-children-come.html
- http://www.insidecatholic.com/feature/why-i-nurse-at-the-mall-and-at-mass.html
What hurts perhaps the most is that I feel more at home in church, sharing in the Mass with my husband, daughter, and friends and family if they're there, than perhaps anywhere else on earth. My fervent prayer is that our baby girl feels the same. How can she feel at home when children are intentionally sidelined into a separate room or are denied their basic needs because it might cause someone else to become uncomfortable?
The church I grew up in didn't have a cry room till I was in college. What possessed them to add it at that point (the church was well over 20 years old) is still beyond me. The parish was young and I relished hearing the baby babbles and little voices asking some really great questions. I'm not talking about 8-year-old kids munching cheerios or playing Gameboys, I mean honest curiosity and just plain vibrancy that small children carry with them everywhere they go.
The priest of our parish when I was little (not the afore mentioned, this one was before I moved as a kid) used to stop what he was doing if he saw a parent stand up to take a crying child out of the sanctuary. "Don't leave! That child's voice is the music of angels!" Oh how I wish all people felt the same!
Now that we have our own little one, I must say we have left the sanctuary with her on a small handful (like less than 5) occassions. Not because she was being disruptive or we were worried about bugging the people next to us so much as because she is WIGGLY and it is much easier to rock those wiggly toes to sleep while standing as opposed to kneeling. We've always stayed within earshot of the sanctuary (or at least a speaker) and have come back to the sanctuary within a few minutes too.
I thought we were doing pretty well with the whole family-celebrating-life-and-Mass-together thing, but we did have a surprising bump on the road. A few weeks ago we (finally!) made it to the States and were able to celebrate our daughter's baptism (yay!). We sat down in the front row, everyone dressed to the hilt and weary sloppy smiles because we were there celebrating Mass as a family and our baby was going to be baptized. Well, everyone was wearing smiles except the baby. She was hungry. So I did what I always do... fed her. Yep. In the front row. In my dress clothes. Without a blanket. What shocked me is that a family member leaned over and insisted, "You can't do that here!" Well would you rather I let the baby scream or shall I run and hide?
If children (with all their sniffles, wiggles, babbles, and all) aren't welcome in church, then why on earth are we there? Jesus says, "Let the children come to me" and by golly I'm pretty sure He means it!
Tuesday, June 1
He makes me smile :)
OK, so I walk in the kitchen this evening and my husband is squawking like a chicken. Literally. I love my husband :).
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