PCS Season. Deployments. TDYs. Retirements. Changes of Command. Promotions. Lots of things going on right now. People we love have moved on to new places and new faces appear daily.
This is the life we have chosen. Most days I like it, some days I love it, and some days I just call it a scrap and move on.
Right now we're focused on an upcoming deployment. Not totally unexpected, but not exactly planned-ahead either. We had not-so-secretly hoped dh wouldn't deploy while we were stationed here, but that was silly thinking and we knew it. Uncle Sam must have heard our quiet chatter and decided to remind us who's in charge of where/when we go.
So. Deployment it is.
We've done two deployments so far, and learned different things from each. This will be our first while stationed overseas and (more significantly) our first with a little one.
The upsides:
-Daddy was here for our little one's whole "growing time" (i.e. my pregnancy) AND the delivery (one of my biggest fears with the military has always been that I'll have to "go it alone" during a delivery)
-he's seen lots of milestones including first bath, first smile, first roll, pushing up, hands and knees, and hopefully crawling before he goes (pretty likely the way dd is hanging out on all fours these days!)
-Skype.
-he's not as likely to deploy again for (hopefully) awhile
-he can bring his bike (he's training for a triatholon :) )
-we get to visit family/friends in the States before he goes
-the support here is amazing - so much better than our last base!!!!!
I'm trying not to focus on the downsides right now. We're on quite a short timeline and frankly we don't have time to mope. That's probably best :).
We're going to need some help though and I know that. If I learned anything during my pregnany it's that people genuinely want to help and I genuinely need to accept it - for my health and my sanity.
This is why I'm asking you guys - what advice can you give for making the most of a deployment with a little one? It's a "short" deployment and I know both dh and I can handle it just fine (lots of prayers and good communication are key!), but I'm worried our little one is going to take it hard. Will she know who he is when he comes home? Will she sleep as well while he's gone? Can I make her smile as big as she does for her Daddy? I'm all ears for tips.
3 comments:
well, we're on month 4+ of separation due to training...granted, not deployment but to the boy, there's no difference. our little man was just a little older I think than your dd will be but I suspect he would've reacted the same at her age. the first week was the worst, whether he truly understood daddy was gone (because he's a HUGE daddy's boy) or because he sensed my anxiety, I'll never know. he had nightmares for nearly two weeks...something he'd never had. if I could go back and do it again, as bad as it sounds, I'd phase daddy time slowly out instead of living our normal lives one day and then daddy's gone totally the next. as he gets older, we'll probably not "phase dad out" (that sounds really bad) but at this age when they're too young to understand the concept of "coming back," it's too hard. granted, we don't have skype or really even email very often and that will be a huge difference I'm sure but we do have tons of pictures and a few videos that the boy LOVES. I printed off probably a dozen pictures of just Joshua or Joshua and the boy and now, the boy has them hidden all over the house and from time to time, he'll just spend the day walking around with a picture or I'll catch him kissing one. I think every child is different and you'll know your daughter and how she normally reacts in stressful situations. Although I was surprised a couple of times with the boy's reactions, looking back, they all fit his personality. I will say also, however, the first phone call was tough on the boy. He heard his Daddy's voice and didn't understand why he couldn't see him but with time, it's gotten better...as long as I don't have him say goodbye. That never goes over well.
Have you seen the "military dolls?" I think it started off with the Marines but now all the branches have them. There's a website that you can email to request a free one when you're scheduled for deployment (not training though-there's not enough). Basically, it's a doll in the standard digital camo with a slot over the face where you can put a picture of Dad's face (or mom, of course, if that's the case). It's something they can hold. Other than the doll, I think we're just going to take things kind of like we have during the training time when the big D hits us sometime next year.
Sorry this was so long but I know you'll be great and your DD will be ok. She'll take her cues from you and you're strong. You've done it before, you can do this too.
On a related note, if you ever get lonely and want some company, I'm totally willing to make the "sacrifice" and visit Japan...tough as it may be ;)
lol - I think such a huge "sacrifice" would have to include a trip to Disney Tokyo! You are always MORE than welcome here - we love visitors!
Thanks for the tips - I'm worried but not crazy worried. Dh should make it back in time for her 1st birthday, so she'll be pretty young, but she is TOTALLY a daddy's girl. I know she's really gonna miss him. We had a brief (week and a half) TDY a few weeks ago and you could tell she was a little off. She was all sorts of excited when she say him again though!
no advice, just hugs!
Peace!
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