Cheerful Obedience

OK, so we're a bit behind the power curve but we have time to catch up.

Before I joined the ranks of mothers I was a teacher.  Big kids, little kids, everywhere-in-between kids, I taught them all at some point and in some manner.  Over the years I gathered up several ideas for my "bag of tricks" and started to become known as someone who could take nearly any kid-situation I was given and have it run smoothly.

Right before we moved to Japan I had one kindergarten class, and one student in particular, that pretty much took the cake for driving all the other teachers nuts with impulsive behaviors, aggressiveness, lack of focus, etc.  By the end of the semester we had everyone in ship-shape and happily working, at least most of the time.  How?  I'm stubborn.  Also?  Major shout-out to my aides!  LOVE THEM.

Anyway, when this "one student in particular" joined the class his mother asked me, with no little amount of shock, why we didn't lock the school's doors from the inside.  A bit mystified I said it was against the fire code and by the way why did she ask?  Well don't the students try to leave?  Ummm.... no, we've never really had a problem with that.  Well, you do now!  She wasn't kidding!

Every time this student saw a door he just had to go through it.  Every time he got within 2 feet of a classmate he just had to poke her.  Every time he got angry and there was paper nearby he just had to stuff it in his mouth.  Oh this was fun.

I am not a touchy-feely-let's-discuss-this-this-is-a-democracy kind of teacher.  Or parent.  Or person in general.  This kid lived in timeout for almost 3 weeks straight.  But ya' know what?  By the end of those three weeks we had a whole new child.  He was more in control of his own body and behavior, he joyfully participated in class, and the other staff working with him were awed at his transformation.

Kids crave boundaries.  They will push until they find them.  That's what they're hardwired to do.  Our job as teachers, parents, scout leaders, or whatever is to clearly set appropriate boundaries that allow for safe exploration and learning.

I know this.  I've mentored other parents and teachers on this.  I have followed through with this in more situations than I can count and it never fails to succeed.  Except one.

Yes, I am that parent.  You know, the one that gives a sheepish grin and lets her kid run wild?  The one who says "she's just so cute" as if it's a reason, not an excuse, to let stuff slide?  The one to which I'd previously been so ready to smugly point out her child's lack of boundaries and tips on how to handle it?  Guilty. as. charged.

But it's not too late.  Tonight is the night I am officially putting my foot down.  No more wild traipsing at night!  No more junk food at all hours! No more running through school doors and poking classmates! 

OK, so she doesn't really do any of those things.  She is only one after all.  But I did realize tonight that it's time we get our act together and start setting those boundaries that Little Bird so craves.  She's already started pushing and it's just taken awhile for us to take the hint.  Don't worry Little Bird, we'll be well on our way to guiding you toward cheerful obedience starting tomorrow morning.  We love you!